I’m halfway through my 20’s (well almost, I’m halfway through 24 so I feel like that’s close enough) and have been single for 4 years now so have had a fair share of ‘dating’ experience during this time. One thing I’ve noticed over the years is how much the whole dating game changes as you get older.
Firstly, as you get older relationships start becoming more serious. People start moving in together, becoming engaged/married and some will even start popping out children. Meanwhile your curled up on the couch with your cat and a glass of wine watching the notebook most nights.
Family and friend events become awkward when everyone brings their partners and you’re the only single one left. It becomes even more awkward when they start to ask questions like “so are you seeing anyone at the moment?” “what happened to (insert name)?” “Do you want to date someone or do you like being single?”
Your friends suddenly become cupid and think they’re a host on a dating show and try and hook you up with their partners single friends.
“We know this really nice guy, he’s recently broken up with his girlfriend, he likes food you guys would be perfect together!”
If you don’t meet someone through friends then where do you even begin to go to meet them? You’re at that age where going out Thursday – Sunday and wasting your entire pay check on overpriced alcoholic beverages isn’t appealing anymore. You may still go out once or twice a fortnight for a girls night out – strictly no boys allowed or a few drinks with your friends and their partners to catch up and hang out but going out to meet someone and hook up normally isn’t a high priority. Movies make it all seem so easy, you’re sitting at a cafe and next minute this incredibly handsome man with pearly white teeth and a natural tan asks if this seats taken. Reality is, this doesn’t really happen. Especially living in a technology driven world where everyone is constantly on their phones or have their headphones plugged in. We spend more time socialising digitally than in person.
Online dating is hard. You could sit there for hours swiping left or right on Tinder judging someone based on how they look (lets face it who really reads the about me section) hoping to find Mr. Right. You meet a lot of interesting people when dating online. Some can be really nice and then on the opposite scale you can find some real headcases. I’ve given online dating a crack before but haven’t had much success I don’t think it’s really for me but in saying that I’ve had friends who have met their current partner on there and are head over heels for them.
Majority of single guys (or girls) that are available still are either emotionally unstable, have commitment issues, aren’t looking for anything serious or you’re simply not attracted to them in any way, shape or form.
If you are however lucky enough to meet someone there’s this stigma that asking someone on a date is too confrontational and may come across as desperate or too forward. Instead people ask to “hang out” which then leaves you often questioning are we just mates or are we more? Even if it is more than just mates you aren’t dating unless you both acknowledge the terms boyfriend and girlfriend. If you go on a date with someone but you’re not quite at the ‘FB official’ stage yet than its often classes as ‘seeing’ someone.
“We’re not dating we’re just seeing each other”
You’ve reached an age where you no longer want to play games. You don’t have time to be questioning where this is going. My advice to all you single ladies (and gentleman if you are reading this) is stop stressing. Use this time to discover who you are and what you want in life. Travel the world, pursue your career and when the time is right you’ll meet your mr or mrs right.